I was hungry. I know I shouldn’t have but we all have ‘hanger’ now and again (‘hangry’ is an amalgamation of hunger and anger … if you’re ‘hangry’ it means you’re angry because you need food).

You don’t want to be around me when I’m hangry.

I lose focus, don’t listen very well, and have a small cloud hanging over my head.

So, I did what any self-respecting hangry person would do and reached for a piece of bread and some organic crunchy peanut butter. I’m sharing it was organic to make myself feel better and to impress you.

I toasted the bread and layered sumptuous peanut butter all over it, immediately starting to salivate at the thought of quenching my ‘hangry-ness’.

That’s when it happened. The sensation on my tooth from the peanut butter felt a little too crunchy and a filling came out.

Damn! If only I’d eaten something softer, like melon, or strawberries, even a slice of plain bread would have been okay. But no … I had to go ‘all in’ with a mid-afternoon snack and now I was paying the price.

I’ve not seen my dentist for a good two years, maybe more. My wife reminded me that the surgery closed down last year. Luckily, she’d already enrolled us into a new dentist locally and spoke very highly of them. I gave them a call and got myself booked in for an emergency repair.

The experience, compared to my last dentist, was incredible. It was more of an investment but I didn’t care because of the way they made me feel. I was in safe hands and felt I could trust them, they also had equipment from the 21st century!

The dentist, a very well-spoken and professional lady, gave a wonderful running commentary of everything she was doing as my jaw was wide open and explained to me that I may need root canal work. But, for now, she was going to do her best to avoid it by removing the decay, giving my tooth a good clean up, and applying a sturdy filling.

It went really well. You know that feeling when you’re working with a professional and they just seem to put you at ease because they know their ‘stuff’ and have your best interests at heart. That was my experience.

Afterwards, she explained that I’d needed to go back and have a full check-up with her as she’d only had time to focus on doing the emergency repair work. She advised me to see a dental hygienist as she could see some build-up on my teeth that required a good clean … and a few minor holes.

Apparently, I’ve been brushing my gnashers too hard with an old-fashioned (as in not battery powered) toothbrush, so I needed to invest in an electric toothbrush and be taught how to brush my teeth the 21st century way.

I smiled, thanked her for her great service and commentary and paid. I was happy and signed up for a full check-up and appointment with her hygienist.

It seems so silly now that I waited for a ‘hanger-related’ peanut incident to occur before visiting my dentist. The discomfort of a broken tooth forced me to go and take action on something really important.

As for the build-up of ‘stuff’ that required cleaning, well, that inspired me to write this.

It’s taken years for the physical manifestation of ‘stuff’ to attach itself to the inside of my lower teeth, the hidden bits you can’t see but use every day.

Slowly, over time, plaque has started to be noticeable with the naked eye. These minuscule layers have gradually formed something solid and strong that requires remedial work in order for me to avoid further pain down the line.

This is exactly the same way beliefs are built up in our minds. But you can’t see them, unlike plaque. Yet they run the show for us, behind the scenes, in our subconscious mind like a hidden orchestra being lead by a manic chimpanzee conductor waving random instructions with a gleeful smile on his face.

In other words, beliefs are like the plaque in our mind.

Our thoughts get repeated time and time again and gradually build-up to create beliefs that are visible through the actions we take. They drive the standard operating procedure of us humans, dictating our behaviour.

If we believe the world is not a safe place we seek out safety in all that we do, we ask questions and make sure all the bases are covered before stepping into the creation of a new idea.

If we believe life is all about freedom we’re in a constant childlike state of play and struggle with accountability, follow-through, and working on projects that just don’t seem fun or free to us (like finance, for many).

If we believe that the slightest sniff of conflict is ‘bad’ then we seek out to make our world and everything in it a harmonious place, making sure we please others around us as the detriment of ourselves in order to ‘keep the peace’.

If we believe that asking for what we want is not allowed we will forever stay in a state of not being willing to explore what we really desire and give away our authority to people we perceive as having more power than us … Never accessing our innate courage to create a life we love leading.

All these broad examples start with one thought that gets reinforced by the way in which we translate our experience of life. This stacking up of perceptions creates the plaque that you can’t see that drive a certain bias to how we relate to certain situations and how we see the world.

Beliefs are nothing more than habits of the mind that you actually believe to be true.

Memories you have fastened yourself onto that you now think are actually you because they feel really, really real.

Layer by layer, or thought by thought, we create our own plaque.

And, unless regularly looked at and cleaned, or challenged, they limit our experience of life.

Beliefs are invisible labels we unknowingly choose to glue onto our mind, as strong as the glue The Twits used in the famous Roald Dahl book to catch birds … The very same glue that resulted in a very slow and painful demise for Mr and Mrs Twit.

Sadly, people often wait until things go wrong in their world before looking at their beliefs. This is exactly what I did. My version of cracking a tooth was creating a business that didn’t turn out as I expected. In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t waited so long to ‘wake up’ and create something different for myself.

 It doesn’t have to be that way for you.

I’ve had endless examples of where I’ve believed the world to be a certain way and it felt really real to me … But under cross-examination, it was all a story I’d made up.

One of my many wonky beliefs was that I wouldn’t be seen as ‘something’ until I’d become a successful businessman, like my Dad. If I ‘made it’ people would be proud of me.

This led me to chase false dreams and create a business that wasn’t aligned to my purpose in life and what I really valued. I had a sense that I was on the wrong path because all I could think about was when I’d be able to sell and exit the business … Not the joy of creating something I’d be proud of. It was all about the cash.

As the Fab Four famously sang, ‘Money Can’t Buy You Love.’ As I see it, a love of life, just as it is.

That thought then became thoughts, which stacked up and became beliefs driving actions that resulted in a great deal of stress and challenge in my life.

I fell in love with a fantasy of, ‘don’t worry if there’s a recession … one day everything will be okay … just keep going without cutting expenses and it’s okay if revenue’s declining … next month it will improve and when it does we’ll sell and ride off into the sunset.’

We didn’t and there was no sunset. There was darkness, liquidation of a business, and all the pain that comes with it.

Looking back, I learned some of the best lessons of my life at that time that still serve me today. I know everyone says that about hard times but for me, it feels real.

I learned that I wasn’t going to pursue a professional life that took more away than it gave me. I wasn’t going to be drained and have a feeling of dread every Sunday evening about all the challenges I had to face on Monday. Especially when my son was born, I woke up and chose to create something else and started working on a plan.

By working on myself with the help of some brilliant coaches and getting clearer on my values and purpose it allowed me to walk a different path, not the one I felt pushed along by my belief that I needed to impress other people, like my Dad.

The funny thing is, when I spoke to my Dad and said that I just wanted to make him proud, he was shocked and replied by telling me that he’d always been proud of me, my brother, and sister … Ever since we were born!

Turns out the belief I had was wrong. I’d made it all up. Clever boy.

When I finally got clarity around the kind of life I wanted to create and the reasons why everything started to transform. My experience of life was fuller, richer, I had more energy, and looked forward to creating my best year yet EVERY year.

I chose to become a coach to help guide other people away from making the same mistakes I did. Turns out I’m doing an okay job and that facilitating transformation in the lives’ of others is nourishing, fun and makes a real difference not only to the people I work with but also their partners, children, employees — the ripple effects are huge.

When you really grasp how and why the understanding and systematic application of CLARITY is the fastest and most effective way to make creating a life you love leaving everything starts to change. The world looks different.

My experience working with high-performing individuals and organisations has demonstrated to me time and time again that clarity is the hidden factor … always dismissed and underrated until the consequences of that dismissal show up in year-end disappointment and confusion about the true source of under-performance.

Waking up to this hidden power can be life-changing … As you can experience for yourself if you’re open to attending:

Get Clarity: How to Create Your Best Year Yet.

So, now I have something I want to share with you. An invitation to consider attending a two-day event I’m holding on 25/26 November 2019 called ‘Get Clarity’.

By taking the time over two days to really sink in and do deep strategic work on designing your life upwards has the potential to change everything.

Not only enhancing what you already have, but also, when you’re in an environment with several like-minded people, means new insights, ideas, and inspiration will flow.

By getting really clear on what you want to create you have the ability to up-level your life in all areas.

Without intention and commitment that is a very steep hill to climb.

This event is all about being in a constant conversation for 48 hours (away from your normal life serving others), slowing down and being really focused on what you want, who you want to be, and what you’d like to create in 2020 that could change everything for you and make a real difference to you and your life.

How often do opportunities like this come along where you can unplug and take care of yourself?

The information page is below and I encourage you to take a look if you’re curious about what getting clarity could do for you. For me, it was life-changing.

The page also includes a BONUS one-hour compilation of a workshop I presented in April 2019 based all around VALUES and human behaviour … If you’re interested in what makes us ‘tick’ and want to learn how understanding more about values is one of the keys to increasing engagement, productivity, performance, management, sales … Everything … Then you’ll enjoy it! It will also give you a feel for some of the content I’ll be sharing at ‘Get Clarity’.

https://www.beyond-your-limits.com/get-clarity-2019/

Finally … If the information page leaves you with more questions rather than a feeling of ‘I’m in!’ I’m happy to answer any questions you may have. Just let me know by email and we can get some time scheduled for a call.

I encourage you to consider attending the event so you can slow down and take a look at where you currently are and where you’d like to go next year … It could be a game-changing catalyst that helps you create your best year yet in 2020.

Love and wellness,

David.

Ps. Here’s a video I recorded that talks about the distinction between living a life with clarity vs. living a life without clarity. I thought it might be useful for you. https://youtu.be/Jnv1sqf0D1o

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
Steve Jobs